17-year-old Ava is an elite athlete who plays lacrosse and field hockey. I’ve had the privilege of doing mindset coaching with her for several years. Last week, I had a conversation with Ava and realized I had become the mentee, as I learned a most valuable lesson from her!
Ava is an open, dynamic, driven, assertive, smart and incredibly funny girl. When I first met Ava, the only thing holding her back from getting everything she wanted on and off the field was self-doubt. She had a negative mindset, focusing on what she did not want to happen rather than what she wanted to happen.
Unfortunately, this mindset impacted her sleep, her studies, and her social life. She needed help, but more importantly, she wanted help. She was willing to do the work to improve.
Coachable and Self-Aware
Over the past few years, we would jump on a zoom call and talk through what was going on. She was really easy to coach because 1) she wanted to be coached and 2) she has incredible self-awareness at such a young age. I watched her work hard to grow in every area of her sport – both her physical skills and strength and her mindset and mental toughness.
The last time I had heard from Ava and her mother was several months ago, and they were thrilled to share with me that she interviewed great and had been accepted as a D1 athlete at the college that she wanted to play lacrosse at.
So last week when I received a text from Ava saying, “Erin do you have time to talk?” my stomach dropped, and I thought it might not be good news. I’ve grown to really care for Ava and root for her to get everything she wants out of life. I was concerned that maybe Ava hadn’t made varsity. WOW was I wrong!
I called Ava immediately.
She said, “Hey what’s up Erin!”
She sounded so excited and said, “I want to share something with you that I’m really proud of.”
I got the chills. I almost started to tear up before she even started talking because I heard in her voice she had turned into a confident young woman.
She said, “Erin, I had a horrible first day of tryouts, and I was really concerned that I wasn’t going to make varsity.” She paused a little too long because I thought she was going to say she didn’t make it.
She said, “I did…Although the coach told me after that first day that I was not going to get much playing time because I had ‘lost my spark.’ I went home after practice excited and relieved about making varsity, but had mixed feelings about her comment.”
She continued, “I decided that night to write things down on how I was feeling, what I was thinking and what I needed. I refused to accept the words from the coach that I have ‘no spark.’ I didn’t know what that meant, and I did not want to spend the entire season on the bench. I feared that it could impact my scholarship to college, my confidence, and my physical skills to be able to be a great lacrosse player.
Courage to Ask For Feedback
So, I decided the next day to ask the coach for some time, and I pulled her aside. I asked her directly “What do you mean by ‘no spark’? I know I have it in me. I just need to know what I have to change. Can you please coach me and help me so I can be the best that I can be?”
The coach told her two specific things, two things that she needed to do to better on the field, and with that a flip went off in Ava’s head. She went out onto the field, and she crushed it!!! She said that the coach was even cheering for her and hugged her and was so excited!!
It was at this moment as Ava was sharing the story that I realized that she had become a mentor to me!! She was teaching me how to be a better coach. She had the courage to address a difficult situation, ask for help and then apply it immediately rather than sulking or going into a spiral and wondering what that “loss of spark” meant.
I’m so proud of Ava!! I hung up the phone and thought, “Wow, how many things in my life am I avoiding a difficult conversation out of fear or because I’ve created a story in my head of what I think the other person is going to say?!”
Mentorship Is a Two-Way Street
Ava’s story is a powerful reminder of the essence of mentorship: it’s a two-way street. Her ability to confront challenges head-on, seek clarity, and apply feedback with immediate effect not only turned her situation around but also imparted invaluable lessons to me as her coach.
Ava taught me the importance of facing difficult conversations, the value of direct feedback, and the transformative power of taking control of one’s narrative.
In honor of Ava’s journey and her role as a mentor to many, including myself, I reflect on the lessons she has taught us. Ava’s story underscores the importance of mindset, the courage to seek growth, and the beauty of mentorship in all its forms.
Keep Shining, Ava!
Keep shining, Ava! Your journey is an inspiration to us all, reminding us that within every mentor-mentee relationship lies the potential for mutual growth and discovery.
